The Crimson Covered Farm Life

Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead

He loved me just as I was

Before I married my wonderful husband, I told him I had be sexually abused. Raped. I told him because I couldn’t move into this marriage with something so overwhelming enveloping me without his knowing.  I felt like my mind was over run with horrid thoughts and it was!

Psalm 27
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

Satan was having a hay day with me.  He had me almost convinced that I asked for this to happen when I was 7 years old.  He played mind games on me and had me spinning in such a state that I couldn’t see straight, unless I was angry. Then I could see just fine to beat my little sisters up.  My parents couldn’t understand where this anger was coming from, I had given them no idea as to what had happened to me.  It was like a light switch was flipped.

So, 10 years later I told my soon to be husband what was really inside of me.  I honestly thought he would flee for the hills.  I guess I used this information as a test.

Would he leave or would he stay.

He didn’t do either.

He wouldn’t leave me, this farm boy loved his city girl. But he wasn’t about to stay with me in my anger and pain.  He sought help for me and for our marriage through our pastors we received Christian Premarital Counselling.  Have I mentioned today that I love him???

But I still hadn’t told my parents.  That was to come later.

Category: Spiritual life