The Crimson Covered Farm Life

Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead

Being thankful through the darkness

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  Genesis 50:20

I am thankful for my parents.  I know, everyone is right.  But I am thankful for something that they did so easily that they didn’t really notice that they were doing it.  My parents helped me learn at a very young age that I was loved.  They even put that love right into naming me.

Amy = Beloved.

The name Amy means beloved.   God knew that I was going to need that deep rooted love.  He knew that I was going to be raped and sexually assault at a young age by a friend to our family.   He knew that I would rage at those around me and at Him.

But I never.

Not once.

Questioned if my parents loved me.

I knew they loved me better than I knew my own feelings.  It was so deeply rooted and tied down into my soul that looking back, I know it was a God thing.  While my friends complained about their parents, and I did my fair share of complaining like most teens do, I could never say they didn’t love me.

That knowledge was a huge part of God being able to help me start to heal.

I was once told that Satan must have saw something so powerful in my life that he was scared at what I was to grow up to be.  So, he tried to destroy me.  He tried.  But he didn’t do it.

But he did not succeed!

Genesis 50:20 says: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Every time I am blessed with the opportunity to tell my story, every time I am doubly blessed to sit and hear another woman’s story,  I laugh at Satan.  God turned this horrid part of my life into something wonderful covered in His crimson covered grace.

Someday, I pray I will be able to walk the streets of gold with my attacker.  I  pray for his marriage, his children, the community that he lives in.  I pray for him.  I pray that he’ll also find the crimson covered grace of Jesus Christ.  People have asked if I would want this man in my life, in my children’s life.  Honestly, not really.  But I do want him in God’s family.  Because once upon a time…    …we were all sinners.

So, to my parents I say thank you.  I want you to know that I have been blessed by you as my parents.  I know, I wasn’t easy to raise.  I know I fought with the twins a lot (ok, they did deserve it sometimes! LOL) but I want you to know that I know you did your best to raise me.  And for that I am grateful.

I love you.

Your Boo